Insomnia (Stephen King, 1994)

I used to devour Stephen King books when I was in highschool, but then I stupidly stopped. I think some of the 90s movie adaptations (Tommyknockers and Sleepwalkers spring to mind) could take some of the blame. Anyway, I decided to give his post 1990 books another chance. I was recommended this, amongst others, so that’s how I ended up reading Insomnia.

I actually really liked the first half, when the ‘mission’ wasn’t so important and neither you nor the characters really know what’s actually going on. I also love the fact that the protagonists are elderly people.

But then, once the questions start getting their answers and they get their ‘quest’, everything starts to feel slightly bloated and I lost interest. I never wanted to put it down or anything, but I simply wasn’t that keen. Some of the passages were not particularly well written either.

I am sure I will read some more of his stuff, but I doubt I will overdose on his books like I did when I was a kid.

7/10

Pacific Rim (Guillermo del Toro, 2013)

I had very low expectations and I wasn’t disappointed: it’s mainly shit, but it looks good and it’s a great movie if you want to have a good time laughing at it. I did laugh out loud on several occasions. Mainly at the main hero and his appalling acting skills. And some of the design was actually hilarious: the Russians? Really? Who designed them? They were brilliant, American-conceived Soviets out of an 80s movie. If they were Harry Potter characters they’d be friends of Viktor Krum.

Anyway, the worst thing for me was how predictable it all was and how unlikable most of the humans were. I was going to say ‘all’, but I do have a soft spot for scientists. But the rest with all that army macho wank and arrogance really made me side with the monsters. GO, TEAM MONSTER!

Also, why did all the characters shout? They even went as far as taking off their helmets so they could shout instead of peacefully talk through a microphone. It was ridiculous! Apart from the girl, of course. She’s not only a girl, but from Far East Asia. That girl, the only woman worth calling a character in the movie, who is not only the love interest but there to be constantly patronised. Even when she proves to be a good enough pilot she gets condescending comments from her beau.

Best thing for me, was discovering this morning, as I was looking for photos of Newt (amazing nickname, by the way, I am totally jealous) and Gottlieb, the tremendous amount of cosplay and fanart dedicated to the pair. The couple, even. If only the film was better! I would love to dress as Newt!

Rating: 5.5/10

The Hunger Games: Catching Fire (Francis Lawrence, 2013)

Fucking ‘ell, I loved this! I had liked the first instalment, but that was it. This, however, totally blew me away. What an exciting story! Having a fantasy movie totally devoid of macho wank feels so refreshing. It’s not only that it has a female protagonist, but it is a woman who is not defined by her relationships with male characters. Hallelujah! Plus, the love triangle she’s immersed in is not her main concern. The first movie is perhaps a bit more predictable because of the main theme of kids killing kids, but in here it’s the politics of oppression/rebellion that take centre stage. More to do with The Running Man than with Battle Royale.

More: secondary characters; who does she pair up with? The old woman and the geeks. That’s what teenagers want to read and see! Or at least, that’s what I wanted to read and see. It’s not all about the muscles, the ruthlessness and the sharpened teeth. It’s about that, too, but not only about that.

There are also several plot twists that I didn’t see coming… and what a cliffhanger!

Aesthetically the film is also a success. Extra points for the faceless armed forces in white, the tree-bark dress and the amazing butterfly headpiece.

On the minus side, the wholesomely anodyne Gale character seems to be the healthiest-looking miner ever, but hey. I also wished we could see more of the camouflage freaks (and the bearded lumberjack, but that’s a personal fetish of mine).

Rating: 9/10

The Black Cauldron (Ted Berman & Richard Rich, 1985)

This film somehow escaped me when I was a kid, which I find really strange, as it has a rather nice D&D feel to it. I love the Horned King and his skeleton army. You don’t need that much to make me happy: give me a skeleton army and I’ll jump with joy.

It seems the film didn’t get many positive reviews: people criticised the lack of Disney magic, especially the lack of charm in the characters. Funny how the ‘Disney bits’ were the aspect of the story I liked the least. I loved the pig, but wouldn’t have missed some of the ‘comedy’ characters if they had decided to get rid of them. Some other people apparently complained the film is not as dark as the book(s) it’s based on.

Still, good they decided to make a movie about ultimate evil. Can’t complain. All in all I really enjoyed it, to be honest, although I would have liked to have more ‘magic ball thing’ action. And more skeleton army action, of course!

Rating: 7/10

The Dark Crystal – Director’s Cut (2013 – original release 1982, Jim Henson, Frank Oz)

Using a black and white workprint, someone has uploaded to Youtube the final cut as apparently Henson and Oz intended it.

I’ve never been a huge fan of the original. I think I must have been too wee when my parents took me to the cinema to see it and the whole thing didn’t have enough fights and chases for me back then. However, I remember watching it again later on in life and it still didn’t click with me, mainly because of the bland gelfings, to be honest, who in my opinion don’t make very good protagonists.

It’s a pity, because I absolutely adore the skeksis and the mystics (i want to be a mystic – I actually think I am one already). I’ve also learnt to appreciate the esoteric storyline. It might be something to do with age, who knows.

The main addition in this director’s cut is some b/w footage that doesn’t add much and looks crappy. However, there is one change that totally made the film for me: the skeksis no longer speak English (only to creatures of other species) and they communicate amongst themselves using their own language. The viewer is left with only their body language to decipher what’s actually happening. That, and a lot of grunts and cries. It works beautifully as it adds an extra layer of darkness and uncanniness that makes the whole breed far scarier. A total triumph.

Rating: 7.5/10

Out of Space and Time Vol. 1 & 2 (Clark Ashton Smith, 1930s – These Compilations: 1974-75)

Despite being a HP Lovecraft fan, I had never read any Ashton Smith until now. I didn’t even know they had been friends. Shame on me. It was on my to-read list for several years, but somehow never made the top of the pile. I guess I thought it was just going to be a continuation of the Cthulhu Mythos with no original input.

What a silly boy. I can happily say that I was wrong. I was liking the first volume so much that I ordered the second one straight away to read them back to back. Well, Vol. 2 is even better!

Although he sometimes thematically follows the Lovecraftian tradition, it’s never blatant and his corpus stands in its own right. I like the addition of the fantasy element with the inclusion of sorcerers, warriors and priests, and how he builds up on previous authors like Poe (a plethora of rotten corpses! – excellent!). His language, too, is very rich, ornate and almost baroque. I don’t think I’ve read the word ‘funereal’ so many times in my life. He seems to have a penchant for blood-sucking creatures and snake people, too. Again, I can’t complain.

Even though I liked most of the stories, the one that really stands out for me is ‘The Return of the Sorcerer’. Everything works like clockwork: the style, the plot, the pace, the thematic scope… it’s a masterpiece.

‘The Testament of Athammaus’, ‘A Night at Malneant’ and ‘The Dark Eidolon’ are worth mentioning, too.

Others, however, are much weaker. I’m not so keen on tales like ‘The City of the Singing Flame’, for example, or ‘The Monster of Prophecy’, where description of alien worlds or other dimensions take centre stage and the plot gets lost and can seem somehow simplistic.

Oh, extra points for Panther and their amazing cover art.

Rating: 8/10

The Hobbit: An Unexpected Journey (Peter Jackson, 2012)

I failed to feel excited about it when it came out in the cinemas, but I nonetheless thought I should watch it. Not sure why, as I’m not a huge fan of the LOTR films (I loved the first one, but felt disappointed with the other two, especially the last one). I guess I just love dragons and all that. In short: I ended up watching it.

Well, it feels strange to be disappointed when your expectations are already low, but the first hour is awful. It’s something between Asterix and Avatar. The effects are rather unconvincing (from the shocking size-shifting Gandalf to the computer game aesthetics -the dwarves’ mine was atrocious!) and I would lie if I said I didn’t find it painful.  At points it felt like it wasn’t real action at all, even when the actors were on the screen. The worst bit for me though were the dwarves. Such a strange mixture of cheap and cheesy humour and violence. The character design was all over the place: if they were serious they looked like human fantasy warriors, if they were just comedy acts they looked like the wee guys in Willow. I did laugh at the appalling acting skills of their prince, though.

Anyway, the second half is much better. Not good, but at least enjoyable, particularly the scene on the trees and the stone giants. And I loved that conversation with Saruman and Galadriel.

Oh, and why a trilogy? Storywise, I mean. I understand they want the cash, but still…

All in all, I am glad I never went to the cinema to watch it.

Rating: 6/10

The Scar (China Miéville, 2002)

I loved this; even more than Perdido Street Station. Perhaps because the universe was known to me and I felt the focus was more on the story than on explaining everything. Or, rather, I spent less energy in the familiarisation process and could concentrate on the story from the beginning. But, to be honest, maybe I just loved it because I am like a moth being drawn to a bright light when I come across a story that’s so full of sea creatures, mythology, pirate-cities, mosquito people, aesthetic self-harmers, the summoning of a gigantic creature from another dimension… you name it. The idea of the remades, of course, being my favourite. His universe is so rich here in the Bas-Lag novels – you can’t deny the guy has a wonderful imagination – and still it doesn’t feel as rushed or as boastful as, for example, Kraken, where everything seemed to say ‘look at me, look at me, I’m amazing!’.

But, most of all, it’s exciting and fun, and that’s what a book like this should be.

On top of all that, the protagonist is a translator! What else could I ask for?

Rating: 8.5/10

Game of Thrones, Season 3 (David Benioff and D. B. Weiss, 2013)

Writing a non-spoilery review about this is rather difficult, as so many amazing and exciting things happen in this season, and not mentioning them feels just wrong. Still, I’m going to try.

I must say the season started a bit slow, I wasn’t too convinced at the beginning at all. There was a lot of preparation and not much happening. Jamie and Brienne really did my head in. He didn’t stop talking! I couldn’t help myself and shouted ‘oh, just gag him!’ several times at the tv screen. I know that was the whole point, though. Why? Because after a few episodes they become my favourite pair of the whole series. I love how their friendship develops and strengthens and how they care so much for each other. I  moved on from feeling annoyed when they were onscreen to begging for more.

The mother of dragons is also going from strength to strength, being the centre of the first amazing scene of the series: dragons! Dragons doing dragony things! If you don’t stand up and cheer you might want to check and see whether you have a heart or not.

I hate her new long-haired assassin/beau, though. I hope the dragons eat him or something.

What else? There are so many things to talk about! I loved Vary’s story, Tyrion (of course), the brutal time poor Theon has to endure (that guy from Misfits is really creepy), wee Arya and the Hound… The wargs! The wargs are awesome!

The big elephant in the room in this review (in any review about this series) is the jaw-dropping ‘thing’ that happens and that has had such a negative, irate and risible response from some idiotic fans. I won’t go into details, apart from highlighting how superbly directed it is. We follow the events through the face of one of the characters, who manages to convey her suspicions and despair just with her eyes (talk about anagnorisis, eh?). And then, when it all ends, the end credits start to roll AND THERE IS NO MUSIC. Genius. I never thought there was going to be anything bigger than s01e09.

Rating: 9/10

The Harry Potter Movies (2001-2011)

I’ve recently rewatched all the Harry Potter movies within a short period of time and I have to admit they work really well as a whole.

I am, indeed, a Potter fan. I remember the excitement when the books came out; it was such a major event in the lives of many. The first four books, together with the first four films, were my favourite. I read and watched them several times. Then I sort of lost interest: I kept on buying the new instalments on the day they were published and watching the new movie adaptations, but it wasn’t the same.

My passion was however restored when I saw ‘Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows Pt 1’. It is such an extraordinary film in itself. Until then, Azkaban was my favourite; you know, ‘when it starts to get dark’, but Deathly Hallows 1 really is the masterpiece in the series.

On watching the eight movies again, I discovered new things, remembered details I had forgotten (Luna in a lion hat!) and renewed my passion for the story and the characters. On top of all this, some things that I had previously ignored or dismissed as minor now really touched me. As I say, I really enjoyed watching all the films (almost) back to back.

Amongst the things that surprised me was the realisation that Chamber of Secrets and The Order of the Phoenix are two really decent movies. They are not shadowed by the darkness of Azkaban and the exciting adventures of Goblet of Fire at all, like I remembered. It is indeed in Chamber of Secrets where things start to get dark and not in Azkaban, and The Order of the Phoenix is a film that really stands by itself, it’s not simply ‘a bridge’ while we wait for the finale, like I remembered, not at all (that’s The Half-Blood Prince, perhaps my least favourite).

The settings are probably one of the things I enjoy the most. Not only Hogwarts, but the Ministry of Magic, Diagon Alley, Azkaban, everything.

I must admit I have criticisms, too. I really don’t feel the need to have a computer generated troll, for example. It looks rather cheesy. A person in a suit or a puppet would have worked much nicer. And as for Hagrid’s half-brother, well, I could have done without that storyline, to be honest.

I have issues with some of the acting, too. I really can’t stand pantomime in general, but I really hate it when they use it to lessen the tension. I really dislike David Tennant’s performance, for example (thankfully he’s not on screen much). But, if we are talking about pantomime, someone I really hate with all my guts is Helena Bonham Carter as Bellatrix Lestrange. Who had the idea to cast her? She’s awful! Her acting is all ‘look at me, look at me, I’m quirky!’ She’s anything but creepy. This really disappointed me. I also had issues with Emma Thompson and even Alan Rickman at the beginning, but nothing compared to the hate I feel for Bonham Carter’s performance.

Regarding the kids, well, they are not the best of actors, but they certainly improve with each instalment, especially Emma Watson, who actually really impressed me in the last two movies.

Anyway, I could keep on talking until the end of time: the cast of two of my favourite men (David Thewlis and Ian Hart), how I actually got goosebumps when McGonagall casts the spell to wake up the stone soldiers in Deathly Hallows 2, the animation clip about the actual Deathly Hallows, Hedwig’s fate, the dementors, Snape, the music… and, like this, ad infinitum.

Rating (whole series): 8.5/10